A quick word association:  when you think of conflict, what words come to mind?  Hard feelings, differences, tension, arguments, hostility, anger, obstacles, disagreements, roadblocks, Alka Seltzer®.

What else comes to mind?  “Clients who change their minds but blame me or my team for not getting it right the first time,” said one client.  Or, too often, “Coworkers who sabotage me behind my back,” an answer revealed as the most common source of conflict in a recent Breakthrough Buzz poll. 

Rethink, recharge, renew

The trouble begins when Person A feels Person B’s action or inaction is causing him to lose a result or opportunity he cares about.  Like what, exactly?  Prestige, promotion, money, control, credit, peace of mind, resources, you name it.  Whether the threat of loss is real or imagined, this is the breeding ground for conflict. 

On a given day, here’s what the opening salvo can sound like: 

• “You made it look like I don’t know what I’m doing.”
• “We don’t need a team meeting.  I already made the decision and told Jim you’d have it done for him on Thursday.  Besides, who’s running the show here?  You or me?”
• “Hey, look.  That’s what you ordered.  I can’t help it if now you don’t want to pay for it.”
• “I told you last time you made that suggestion that it wouldn’t work.”

And there it is.  Can you feel it? That hot prickle at the back of your neck?  Take note of it because it’s much more than a physical sensation:  it’s the moment you choose what you’re going to do. 

Master this critical Breakthrough Skill, and stay cool in even the "hottest" professional climates with the resources below.